Negative Comments About Being At Home?

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Negative Comments About Being At Home?

Post  alec eiffel on Fri Aug 19, 2011 6:38 pm

Hi everyone,

Hope you don't mind me starting a thread.

Has anyone had any negative comments about you being at home rather than out in the world of paid work?

For me, there seems to be an age split. Everyone over the age of about 50 says "good on you, life's too short", people over about 65 always say how nice it is to see someone taking care of the home and having a "good old fashioned lifestyle". It's generally people around my own age (mid 30's) that have a problem. I've had people make comments that I should stop sponging off the state (I'm not on benefits), the old chestnut of what if we split up and all that stuff. Other people just tell me I must be bored or depressed and others just seem amazed and ask how we can afford it!

People tend to change their mind once they've been to the house though, a couple of people have said when they've spent time with us at home it just "makes sense". Not sure what that means but I'm taking it as a positive thing.

How about you?

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Re: Negative Comments About Being At Home?

Post  TP on Fri Aug 19, 2011 9:13 pm

not not really i must say. I tell people i work in oh business and do voluntary work. Its none of their business.
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Re: Negative Comments About Being At Home?

Post  alec eiffel on Fri Aug 19, 2011 9:20 pm

Well of course it's none of their business but it doesn't generally stop people being nosey Laughing

I think maybe people are nosey with me is 1. people I know are just plain nosey and 2. I don't work in anyone's business, I don't volunteer anymore I am 100% pure housewife. I guess it's just hard for some people to get their head round, like I'm wasting my degree or some such nonsense.

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Re: Negative Comments About Being At Home?

Post  TP on Fri Aug 19, 2011 9:27 pm

thats true people are nosy. Its like the when are you having children one and then when are you having another Rolling Eyes Laughing
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Re: Negative Comments About Being At Home?

Post  alec eiffel on Fri Aug 19, 2011 9:29 pm

You're not wrong, we're childfree by choice so we get that too!

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Re: Negative Comments About Being At Home?

Post  life_in_termoil on Fri Aug 19, 2011 10:09 pm

I found that when I was married and working stupid hours (when I didnt need to be as ex USED to have a very well paid job) people used to ask me WHY I was working. so I think its swings and roundabouts really.

I worked because my then hubby was a control freak and wouldnt allow me to be a SAHM so I ended up with a high profile job, worked long hours, looked after the children and home and never saw any of my income.

I now work because I have to but only do 24 hours a week, I get no financial help from my now ex but due to circumstances I will have to increase my hours when the kids have all left school/college just so I can keep a roof over our heads. So for now im enjoying being at home during the day.
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Re: Negative Comments About Being At Home?

Post  knitmylife on Sat Aug 20, 2011 4:49 am

although i am still working all of my friends know that i long to give up and yes i do get negative comments.

such as what on earth would you do all day. and there is only so much housework you can do.
wont you get lonely. your brain will turn to mush.

but i enjoy seeking out new recipes and trying them out.
i enjoy crafting
i enjoy washing ironing and mending our clothes.

yes im sad. i cant help it. it makes me happy.

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Re: Negative Comments About Being At Home?

Post  alec eiffel on Sat Aug 20, 2011 7:02 pm

I don't think it's sad at all, what could be better than working towards a lifestyle that makes you happy? We're not alive all that long we should all be heading towards happiness as much as we can imo.


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Re: Negative Comments About Being At Home?

Post  Anne on Wed Aug 24, 2011 2:05 am

People think I don't work !!!!!!!
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Re: Negative Comments About Being At Home?

Post  mesh on Wed Aug 24, 2011 7:51 pm

Having recently been made redundant I get asked the question 'oh not working today?' to which I respond 'no recently made redundant and then 'oh I suppose you will be looking for a job then?' 'err no after 35 years of full time work I think I have had enough and besides, I am enjoying being at home doing all the stuff that I have had to squash into night and weekends..... blah blah blah. If they come back with more I generally ask and how many years have you worked for? and that generally shuts them up.

Dont get me wrong, I dont intend to sound/be rude but I think I have added enough to the economy especially when I received a letter from the DWP advising that I have now paid enough contributions to be able to draw down a state pension!!! God I felt old when I received that letter. Now please dont get me wrong, I will probably work again in a couple of years time but for now, I am in a place where I am quite happy.

Besides, as others have said, whats it got to do with anyone else? I also keep an eye on a couple of oldies make sure all is ok with them and also my OH who although still works full time, has heart problems so this way, he has no/little stress and I can monitor his diet better.

Yes, I think I am lucky to be where I am and also happy with my lot. Very Happy

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Re: Negative Comments About Being At Home?

Post  froogs on Wed Aug 24, 2011 8:46 pm

Things have changed so much with regard to the way society sees the women's role.

My grandma and all her friends in the street were homemakers, not one of them did any paid work as far as I can rememeber and my Grandma ever ever did a days work outside her home. My Grandad was a miner so earned the money while my grandma did everything else for the family.

Not 7 years ago when I was pregnant with my eldest people were turning their noses up at me because I had to go back to work full-time. Had to, didn't want to.

Now I feel the opinion is oh, they're 3 in nursery get back to work and earn some money.

Well no, my children still need me morning, late afternoon evening and night. I still would like to participate with them in their school activities. I still want and need to be there as a mum.

It's fround upon, as far as I can see, to be a home whatever your age and circumstances because society automatically thinks 'stay at home, no work, must be claiming something!' It's not the case at all. I had this conversation with my sister who was adament I cost the tax payer more money by being at home than I did at work because of the tax credits I must receive. No, I got more tax credits when I was working because we qualified for the childcare element!!

Sounding off really. To be able to be a homemaker is a privilidge in this day and age. I feel damn lucky to be able to do it when I feel it should be my role anyway, the minute I decided to have children. And for those of you who are homemakers when your children have left home or do not have any children, just what is wrong with it. We all know how many jobs we have to do - unpaid!
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Re: Negative Comments About Being At Home?

Post  TP on Thu Aug 25, 2011 11:36 pm

ive heard some mums say that their partners think they have it easy and what did they do all day. Mad I think they were soon told and put in their place.
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Re: Negative Comments About Being At Home?

Post  alec eiffel on Fri Aug 26, 2011 12:12 am

tenerifeprincess wrote:ive heard some mums say that their partners think they have it easy and what did they do all day. Mad I think they were soon told and put in their place.

That is so rude. I'm always baffled by attitudes like that, surely everyone had agreed to this situation if one partner is at home by choice to look after children or whatever. So I just don't know why someone would then make those comments. If there's a day where I've sat and quilted all day the man gives me a big pat on the back and says if I'm going to be at home I'd better be enjoying myself!

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Re: Negative Comments About Being At Home?

Post  TP on Fri Aug 26, 2011 1:30 am

alec eiffel wrote:I don't think it's sad at all, what could be better than working towards a lifestyle that makes you happy? We're not alive all that long we should all be heading towards happiness as much as we can imo.


totally true.

There arent enough jobs for everyone anyway? Smile
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Re: Negative Comments About Being At Home?

Post  dolly blue on Fri Aug 26, 2011 3:05 am

I do get lots of negative comments about not working outside the home, from not helping to bring money home to sitting on my bum all day (ok I do spend to much time online)
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Re: Negative Comments About Being At Home?

Post  TP on Fri Aug 26, 2011 3:08 am

. If there's a day where I've sat and quilted all day the man gives me a big pat on the back and says if I'm going to be at home I'd better be enjoying myself![/quote]

ah thats nice.
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