How is your life different to your mums

Did your mum work or sah or a mixture of both?

How like your mums life is yours?

My dad worked full time and my mum went back to work part time when i was 5, she also did everything in the home and was a mother of 3. Our lives and situations are very different.

Her mum worked, she was widowed when my mum was 10 and her brother 12 and went back to work teaching to bring in the money. This would have been in the 40's. I think this was very tiring but she did it. I think my mum told me that she used to fall asleep marking her books. I am not really sure if she would have worked if her husband hadnt died he had quite a good job. There was a point where she did a bit of needlework from home because she was good at that sort of thing but i dont know when that was exactly! I think she gave it up actually i dont think it brought in very much money.

My mum and dad eat the same thing each day each week almost. I couldn't be doing with that! Except when I visited Dad when Mum was away in Canada visiting my aunt, I bucked the trend and made rabbit casserole. This really scuppered the meal plan, as there were leftovers too.

I guess the main difference between my mum's life when she was my age and mine is that she had three children and I'm childfree.

My mum stayed at home until I was about 11 then worked full time. In terms of lifestyle it's not that different really, she liked knitting and making stuff and doing all the homemaking things, as do I. She went to watch football, out to the pub with my dad or would have friends round for dinner and drinks, same as us. She's the cool side of normal I guess!

Now we're very different. My dad refuses to scrimp these days. He says he worked in a job he hated for 35 years to put a roof over our heads, went without and was frugal and now he has the choice he won't do it. He hated beyond words when I managed a charity shop, rolls his eyes whenever I buy something from one and moans when I don't have the heating on :lol!: He does however love to grow fruit & veg and make stuff so he likes to see what I've been making and is eyeing up our garden for veg beds.

I guess mine is probably quite similar actually, at he same age my mum was also a SAHM with 2 kids and doing an OU degree! Differences are that my parents owned their home (with a mortgage) whereas we rent and don't really have any prospect of buying inthe next 10 years. They had also been married for over 10 years whereas I am divorced from first H (kids are OHs) and have made a much better choice this time! Dad was in a much better paid job than OH so although we didn't have much spare when I was a kid as it was all tied up in mortgage, pension payments, car etc we have to be a lot more frugal.

My Mam was a stay at home mum up until my dad died when I was 10 and at that point mum had to get a job as a school cook and cleaner. She worked hard to gain qualifications and is now a school librarian.

I guess my life right now is pretty similar although I too am studying an OU degree at the same time. I also want to earn my own money by my craft makes so not entirely the same.

my mum was always a sahm. she baked and stitched and kept a perfect home. still does. dad worked and earned good money we were very fortunate to have a lovely lifestyle. i have one sister.

my husband and i both work and are not wealthy although between us we have five children. i am very like my mum in terms of homemaking except for my having to work at the moment.

we have a lovely life but are by no means wealthy. probably just comfortable. if i gave up work now i guess we could manage but a lot of treats would go and that is the point i am at the moment of deciding if i can manage without all my weekends away and special bits and pieces.

xx

They didnt have forums when mum was younger? Didnt they miss out?

My mum wouldn't have got all her lessons set and her marking done if there was the internet then and she was like me!

My mum and dad changed roles about 15 years ago when dad had to retire due to ill health although my mum did always work part time.

Dad now does all the cooking and mum goes out to work 20 hours a week but does all the cleaning as well as dad isnt well enough to do things. Mum says she only goes to work because she would be bored at home and my dad would do her head in if she was with him all day lol. Saying that she uses her wages to go on holiday with her best friend twice a year and she is saving at the moment to go to New York in 2 years time with her sister.

Mum doesnt know anything about household bills as dad sorts all that out and he also gives her "housekeeping money" each week.

My mum was a teacher. She needed to work when I was small because money was short. This was in the 1960's, so I was left with a friend of the family's to be looked after. During the late 1960's mum did supply work, so sometimes she was home. She gave up teaching in the early 70's due to ill health, but sometimes did a bit of home tuition.
I've always been a SAHM, have tried a couple of night time part time jobs in the past, but much happier being my own boss, and not working, so haven't worked for many years now.
Anne x

Mum was at home for me and my brother until we went to school then she had a little job.

first off, until I was 10 mum was a single parent. she had me very young (18) and we lived in her parents house with her parents, two brothers, one sister, grandmother and her other sister not far away.
then she met my stepdad when i was 9, got married, moved because of his job and losing her support triggered bipolar. I don't really want to go into that.
when i was 10 she had my brother tom and on top of bipolar she developed PND...both went untreated. she was a stay at home mum, but because of her illness dad and i did most of the housework and caring for tom.

then when i was 12 she had oli. same thing happened only this time the PND became PND psychosis and she got short term help, but not enough as she lied to the medical people.

then when i was 14 she had loo and something in her changed. loo was born at home after a problem free pregnancy and mum had no PND. even her bipolar symptoms eased for about 6 months, but then came back with a vengance.

I went to uni at 18 and officially moved out of my parents house when I was 19. mum finally sought help and get medicated when I was 21 and became a completely different (wonderful) person.

so, things we have in common:
one child for a long time.
lack of money.
mental parents
young pregnancy (I was 22, I still felt like a kid but sophie was planned lol)

things we don't:
I was unplanned, as was my baby sister. both boys were planned.
I was the first woman in 5 generations of my family to CONCEIVE after marriage, let alone give birth in wedlock lol. my great gran patted me on the back.
I recognised my depression probelsm early and sought help instead of hiding.
I do housework. and I take care of my child lol.

there are more differences, but it's pointless listing them. she's a totally different person since getting help. she's a person I'm happy to leave my daughter with.

This is a weird one, as I feel like I really have stepped in to Mum's shoes. My mum stayed at home most of our childhood, she got a local school cook job when I was at secondary school followed by a part time secretary position. She'd previously dropped out of nursing as she met my Dad and got married. She had had me and my brother by the time she was 23.
I did the whole career thing, working hard, playing hard and so on until I got to 29, then realised I really wanted children. Since I had my second child five years ago I haven't worked. I just found it too hard to manage it all.
Now I'm happy at home, they are both at school and I'm beginning to think I could do a little work.
But the weird thing is I know I fill my days in a similar way to how my mum used to, except she had a strict routine - e.g. 'dusting day' and 'changing sheets day'. She also met up with other mums for coffee on regular days, which I do too.
It is so lovely being able to be at home, but I do feel guilty at times, and my husband works hard, and we are short of money most of the time.

I think most people could do with more money couldnt they even when they work

The main thing is you are happy being at home. I am not surprised you found it hard to manage everything.

Yes, you're right about the money thing I'm sure...thanks.
Weirdly it was a rubbishy magazine article talking about how much money going to work actually costs (new clothes, shoes, petrol, lunches, quick dinners, wine to de-stress, haircuts, not forgetting the childcare) that made me realise it was possible not to work!

This is an interesting one. My life is very similar to my mums at the same age.

She had both of us by this point (4 and 2), and I've one 3 year old and one on the way. She was a home maker and SAHM, same as myself, she stopped working when my brother was born. We lived frugally, as I do now with my own family. She returned to work part time when I was around 8. I plan to do something in the way of employment or possibly education when the children are older. My mum was married at 18, myself at 22.

Our lives have been very similar, except I went to college and she didn't. She was doing the things I now do with my DD, play groups, feeding ducks, parks. I have to say it's a simple life, but one I love.

thats nice.

MrsH wrote: I have to say it's a simple life, but one I love.

I am so glad to see someone else feels this way. so often I feel like we're bullied into the idea that we should work whilst holding down a home and family, and the excuse is always given that it's all about women's lib. yes, women fought for the right to CHOOSE to work if they wanted to, not so that every other woman should be made to feel like she has to work outside the home to mean anything to the world.

flibsey wrote:

MrsH wrote: I have to say it's a simple life, but one I love.

I am so glad to see someone else feels this way. so often I feel like we're bullied into the idea that we should work whilst holding down a home and family, and the excuse is always given that it's all about women's lib. yes, women fought for the right to CHOOSE to work if they wanted to, not so that every other woman should be made to feel like she has to work outside the home to mean anything to the world.

Totally agree. Three years on, I'm still asked on a regular basis when I'm going back to work. I was also asked what benefits I get (as in state ones) for staying at home. I said there are many benefits, but not ones that are paid into my bank account (apart from universal CB). I wouldn't change my life right now for any salary or societal expectation.

Well said flibsey!

*bows*

yes, we are perma-skint, and yes I would consider part time working around school hours in a year or two IF by that point the panic attacks i get when filling in job applications have subsided, but i don't feel like I should have to. hubby is thankfully of the same opinion. and the same as MrsH, I get asked what benefits I am on. If I don't like the person I say with bravado "James earns too much for me to claim benefits" lol. mind you, it is true.... but we worked out if he wasn't working we'd not be any worse off which is sad. he works so hard for the money we get. oh well. neither of us want to ever be in the "benefit trap" though.

I sometimes wish I did though, we could REALLY do with completely free loft insulation hahahaha!!!

My mother worked part time all her life once she was married right up till 3months ago and she's 69year old.

She said going out to work for a few hours every day kept her body and mind young and meant she had monies of her own to spend as she saw fit. She loved the social interaction and the intelligical stimulus. Her words were, "I'm not just talking nappies, and the price of bacon."

I totally agree with her. I worked full time but gave up full time 8 years ago. I work part-time for myself. I can maintainmy buisness at home expect 2 mornings a week which I conduct outside the home this keeps me from climbing the walls and going lala

So not to different from my mother's life in some respects.

She also was as designer just like myself